Wow, can you believe I've already been out 4 months? I can't!
Okay, so first of all, 6 weeks ago, I was talking to an Hermana who is from St. George, Hermana Adams and I was kinda venting about how I frustrated I was about the lack of quality my missionary work had and how I really wanted to change but I didn't know how and I was starting to believe that I couldn't. She told me to pray everyday and ask my Heavenly Father to help me become better because I couldn't do it without Him. So that's what I did, this entire transfer, I asked every night for Him to help me to have a change of heart. To make me into the missionary He knew I could be and wanted me to be and the missionary I need to be for His children and His work. This is the experience that followed.
This entire transfer was a bit rough. On Tuesday, I called Hermana Christensen to tell her that I had been thinking about what she had said the day before and that I really needed the help of the President. She handed the phone over to him because conveniently they were together and I told him that I would like to talk with him because I was struggling. We set up an appointment and talked later that day. I told him everything, How I felt I wasn't serving like I should and how I hated coming home at night knowing that there was so much more that I could have done, that I was concerned about how I was taking on some of the disobedient habits of my companion, that I was a little depressed and had lost motivation to fulfill my purpose here in my mission. The things he told me opened my eyes and really helped me change my attitude towards many things.
He first told me that I had stumbled across one of Life's great principles: "We feel good when we give our all to the Lord. When we don't, we know it and we feel it." He told me to do my best everyday and I won't feel like I didn't fulfill my purpose. If I gave my all, I would be able to return home at night and in my prayer before bed I could tell the Lord, "I know you have better missionaries than me but today I gave you the best of me." He told me that if I would give my all, I would feel better.
The second thing he told me was that mission presidents categorize their missionaries and he had done the same with this mission. He said, "I have three types of missionaries here:
10% are just rocks. No matter what happens, they simply refuse to be moved from where they stand and from doing what they know is right.
15% are just goof offs. In their heart of hearts, they don't want to be here and don't care much about anything.
75% are in the middle. They are easily swayed. If they are with a hard-working companion, they work hard. If they are with a goof off companion, they goof off.
You, Hermana Parslow, are on the line between the Rocks and the 75%. You now have a choice of who you want to be."
Which type of person would you choose?
I told him that I wanted to be a Rock. He told me that he believed that I was a Rock and that I had simply let the situation I was in get away from me and he gave me a scripture, 2 Nephi 2:26
"And the aMessiah cometh in the fulness of time, that he may bredeem the children of men from the fall. And because that they are credeemed from the fall they have become dfree forever, knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not to be acted upon, save it be by the punishment of the elaw at the great and last day, according to the commandments which God hath given."
"Hermana, act for yourself. Never allow yourself to be acted upon. Own your life. Be bold in what you believe and know is right. This will be important as a missionary, as a wife, and as a mother. When we sit down at the judgment seat, the Lord will not be interested in our accusations when He asked, "Why did you commit this sin? Why did you do this?" and our reply is, "Well, my companion did it." or "My husband this..." or "My friends that..." "This person" or "That person", placing the blame on another when truly we gave up our agency and allowed ourselves to be acted upon." This is important for everyone. Satan does not lead us slowly into the bonds of hell when we are willing to give up our agency and allow the actions of others to affect ours. When someone else makes a bad choice that does not mean that we should give up what we know to be right and what is essential for our salvation to compensate for their mistake, their responsibility, to make them feel better about the bad choice they've made. I'm sure that Satan is incredibly happy to kill two birds with one stone when someone gives up their salvation because someone close to them gave up theirs.
Wednesday, I ended up in the hospital again because I was getting severly sick after eating lunch and Hermana Christensen told me to go. They hooked me up to an IV and got me hydrated while they ran extensive tests. Turns out I don't have any kind of bug or infection or parasite, just gastritis and colinitis, the most common thing among missionaries. They gave me some medications to help and sent me on my way.
Saturday we found out that there would be a change in our companionship. We expected it but the surprise was that I'm leaving. I'll be getting a new companion and new area tomorrow. I'm gettin' transferred! I couldn't sleep that night because my mind was racing. When Hermana Christensen called yesterday to check on me and see how I was doing, I told her that I was great just a little nervous about transfers, she told me, "I shouldn't say anything and I won't say her name but you're going to love your new companion. You two are just two peas in a pod and when the President automatically put you with her I said Yes! She's perfect!" and that my area is perfect for me and the house I'll be in is her favorite. I guess we'll see. =)
My companion loved the gift that came in the package, you made her cry mom and she wears the necklace almost every day. Also, the Hermanas loved their cards. Hermana Mary Carmen cried. Oh and as for gifts for them, yeah, I think a picture of the temple is a great idea. They love it here and everyone dreams of going one day.
We went to Cholula today and to the pyramids. I'm out of time so I'll attach photos next week.
Love you all! Have a wonderful week!