Tuesday, October 14, 2014

A Week of Lessons

The brother of one of our recent converts has wanted nothing to do with us in the past but since we started this transfer he has started listening to us. It took about 5 tries and appointments to finally be able to visit with him but he seems to be really interested. Especially because he has told us that he didn't want to listen to us before because he couldn't guarantee that he could keep his commitments to read and pray, however, he has taken the decision to really give the whole "Mormon" thing a shot.

Although it seems that nothing has changed in our area and with our investigators, I can't help but feel very changed. 

Over the last couple of weeks, well ever since I became a trainer, I began to feel like I was an awful missionary and just would not be able to complete everything I had to do in one day. I disliked Sundays because I had to report the numbers and when I counted them all up, all I could think was, "What did we even do this week? Why are this numbers so awful?" I felt like a failure of a missionary and I felt very stuck not knowing what to do. 

After having a Sunday and Monday of just feeling bad, I decided to talk to my mission president. We had a really good talk. He helped me see that I was trying to control things that were totally out of my control (like the numbers and if we get new people to teach) and that I really was a decent missionary, I just had to let myself see it. That Satan would love for me (and all of us) to feel like I wasn't worth anything. I felt so much better after the talk and this Sunday was actually really good. The numbers didn't get better and it was pretty much all the same but I felt good. I felt the Spirit and love of my Father in Heaven and was happy enough to have a harina (flour) fight with my companion. :)

The Relief Society General Conference was amazing. We got to watch it (the Americans) in English and there were two things that just really stood out to me  "Never Stop Your Steps Towards the Temple" and "God loves you TODAY and ALWAYS." --Pres. Utchdorf. I hope you all got to listen to it or watch it. It was amazing. I felt like Pres. Utchdorf's talk really spoke to me and was what I really needed. I can't wait for General Conference this weekend! It really is like the SuperBowl for missionaries, especially because I get to watch it in my native language!! Yay! :D

Another lesson that I learned this week was something that I've always been told but never really hit home until yesterday. As a missionary, and as a member, when someone tells your their situation, problems, or worries, if you don't have anything or know what to say ALWAYS bear your testimony. We have a member who has really had a rough 3 months and has become rather angry with God and all those around her. However, after the Arellanos talked to her, we got the chance and although I knew I couldn't offer any kind of advice or comfort, I knew that there was only one thing I could do, Testify that Jesus Christ was her Savior and of His love for her. I promised that he was always near and when she was ready to set aside her anger, fear, and doubts, she would feel it. She ended saying the closing prayer and it was beautiful. She asked for help, comfort for her family, and forgiveness. It was a wonderful reminded that when you don't know what to say....testify. =)

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